To explore this topic, I pulled aside two individuals who I knew were hunting for a long-term relationship using online dating websites, and asked them about their experiences with the services.The two services used by these individuals were OKCupid and Match.com, two of the largest and most popular dating websites on the Internet.What I learned from carrying out an interview of a female and the interview of a male trying to dig into this intriguing subject was that using the Internet for dating is equally painful for men and for women, but for very different reasons.Ironically enough, if you could take the best of those women and the best of those men, and place them in a big room where they could sit at a table and ask each other questions in person – you’d probably have 4 or 5 new match-ups by the end of the night. All they have to do is get online every day, sitting on their princess throne and file through the dozens or more profiles of men who have messaged them throughout the day.You might expect me to say that he was blase about her – after all, he wasn’t in a relationship with the child’s mother.Theirs had been nothing more than a ‘fleeting affair’ as he so ungallantly put it.The problem with online dating is that you can’t see the person’s face when they’re telling you about themselves. I think it’s hard for guys to comprehend the world of online dating from a woman’s perspective. They then flippantly toss out all of those well thought out, carefully crafted messages from most of those poor schmucks, and then they log onto their Facebook accounts to complain to their girlfriends that there are no “good men” left in the world.You can’t watch as they smile, and that smile spreads up into their eyes and transforms their face into one of the most beautiful things you’ve ever seen – a thing that warms your heart and makes you realize you want to spend more time with the person. Unfortunately, the reality is nowhere near that fantasy.
It made me SO uncomfortable that guys so much older than me, older than most of my siblings (all of which are 8 years plus older than me), were sending me messages telling me that I was “hot”.
Anonymous Woman (AW): I can’t remember the exact year I signed up… Actually, now that I think about it, that was how most of the messages I got started.